Could, but won't
by Koshi Sekisen
Summary: SLASH! RLSB, JPLE! “Sirius, I- I think it’s up to the two of us to find out more about this, and once we got it we’ll have to be able to take measures against it.”


**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter and all the characters belong to JK Rowling.

**Summary:** "Sirius, I- I think it's up to the two of us to find out more about this, and once we got it we'll have to be able to take measures against it."

**Warnings:** SLASH! RLSB, JPLE. Angst, black humor. Bad language. Mature content!

* * *

Could, but won't.

Chapter one

* * *

"Give me your best shot"

The bartender looked at him briskly and nodded impassively, his lips not moving even though he was pouring the most expensive bottle of Firewhisky the shop owned. Without a word or more than a mere glance, he offered the drink to his interesting new customer, who gulfed it down as if it were water. Had it not been by the very slight twitch in his mouth and eyebrows, the bartender would've thought it had not even affected him. He did smile smugly though, when the new stranger asked for a second round.

"Rough night, I take it" The man said, watching the young face.

"None of your business. Just pour me more" With a shrug, he did has he was told, and went on about his business with a new customer who seemed more polite.

Sirius Black drank another shot, and it was lucky for him that the man was out of hearing range, even though he wouldn't admit it. He was strong holding his alcohol down, but it had been a shitty day and he hadn't eaten since morning. It was past dinner time. He saw a pretty waitress wearing way too little on December and asked her for another round. She nodded with a pretty smile, and Sirius knew he had found himself a bird for that night, and maybe a few more. _Yes, _he thought with a smug grin, _way too little_. The petite brunette was leaning over in a very suggestive way, and he found himself shifting in his seat.

"Meet me later" he hushed in her hear, and he was proud to feel her tremble against him. She nodded with another smile. A pretty, seductive smile.

He stared at her for the next few minutes and sipped his alcohol slowly. Now, he wouldn't want to disappoint her. His not-so-innocent thoughts were interrupted by an alarmed voice from his pocket. He recognized it immediately, and it was only years or friendship that he pulled out the two-way mirror reluctantly.

And there, where in a normal mirror his own face should be reflected, he saw his best friend's calling with an exasperated expression. His at first rosy pallor had tanned thanks to years of playing Quiddich in the fields, but his face hadn't changed at all since Sirius had first met James Potter. Hazel eyes always bore a bored expression except when talking about mischief or his wife (and sometimes a sickly combination of both), he wore ridiculously round glasses, and his black hair would remain uncombed.

"What"

"What do you mean, what?!" exclaimed James, looking around himself. It seemed he was safe (a.k.a. Lily wasn't around) and he continued talking in hushed tones "You totally upset Elizabeth, _that's what!_ She apparated home and now Lily's having a heck of a time trying to calm her down. You know she'll be out for your blood, mate, and I don't want to see that happen"

"Tell your wife not to play match-maker anymore, then" he grumped "She seriously needs a life"

"Hey! Don't talk like that about her! She was just trying to help"

"James, you know I love you, right?" he sighed "But I don't want your wife sticking her nose into _my _business. I don't _need_ to fall in love, just because you two…"

"She was trying to help you, Sirius" repeated James. "I'll tell her never to pull another stunt like that, I get it. But heck, what the hell did you _do_ to Elizabeth to make her _this_ upset. Anyway, you've got to tell me another time, because I'm hearing footstepz—by the way, you really need to speak to Remus— Oh, hey Lily, sweetheart…"

"I know you're talking to—…"

The mirror reflected Sirius's own tired reflection. Stone-grey eyes, long and slick black hair, a three day unshaved beard… even with those creepy bags under his eyes he smirked at his own handsome reflection. And he was still wearing the outfit for his previous date with what's-her-face-again, Elizabeth. He'd had that pretty waitress moaning in his arms within the hour.

Seriously, though, he thought as he finished his last drop of Firewhisky. Lily's idea had been disastrous. Her friend, Elizabeth, had been dumped by her boyfriend over a year ago, and his best-mate's redhead wife had thought she might like to date Hogwards's school old playboy to get over it once and forever. Of course, Lily had naïvely thought that once he had graduated he would've magically matured (just as James, her git of a husband, did) and he wouldn't go around breaking women's hearts, now would he? Or maybe she honestly thought Elizabeth was _that_ fantastic and he would've changed for her. Or maybe she thought he would've felt responsible for that weak-hearted woman and would eventually grow to love her. Lily's mind's working was a total mystery for him.

Sure, he knew Lily was a wonderful person at heart, and he didn't doubt she had their best interests at heart. It just that Lily was unable to understand Sirius, as much as he was unable to comprehend her. James was their only bridge, and although he had warned his wife it wouldn't be a good idea, he had backed off (it was, honestly, the best thing to do).

No, Sirius wasn't a bad person. He was a Griffindor at heart, and he had fought countless times with his Slytherin-freak family. He had saved James's, his brother in everything except blood, life as many times as his had been saved by his mate.

He just wasn't into relationships. Flings, one-or-two night shags; sure. But if there _really_ was his soul-mate out there (as James and Lily had repeatedly told them) he had definitely not found her yet. He wasn't even sure he _wanted _anything like that, anyway. They were almost at war, and if he'd had to care half as much for another person right now than his friends at the moment, he wouldn't have a decent night's sleep.

Sirius believed in love, of course he did. Dumbledore, the most powerful magician in the world, believed in it, why should he contradict him? He never learned a thing like that with his parents, of course, but seven years of magical education at Hogwards made him change. The most obvious example was James and Lily. He had fallen in love the minute he had seen her, and she had hated his guts from the same moment. Year after year he had chased her, tried nice and original ways and disastrously ridiculous means to get he attention. And at their seventh year: voilà. But of course it hadn't been that shallow. Sirius had been there with James since the beginning, since James had been there with him after he had gotten the howler of his family just on the second day of school, he had been a pillar of unconditional and unfaltering support. He had seen his mate almost cry in despair because he loved her so much his heart ached.

That kind of magic was meant for James, of course he believed in love.

But there was no love out there for him. He was a Black, the eldest son of the most wicked and horrible family of pure-bloods. His mother married her own cousin to maintain that fascist nobility which sickened him. No one in their right minds would ever love him, and he'd rather have it that way. He liked being free and living in the edge, something now James couldn't do because the thought of loosing Lily or vice versa was way to frightening. But Sirius had defied many laws, written and unwritten, and that was the way his life was meant to be shaped.

No, there was no love out there for him.

The pretty waitress poured some more of the Firewhisky on his glass, and when she saw he had noticed her, she leaned on him dangerously with the pretext of filling the glass to the brim. He drank it in one gulp and felt it burning though his body, and before he knew what he was doing he kissed her breast just about where her nipple was supposed to be. She tensed and with a lascivious smile told him where to meet her in half an hour. He grinned.

No, there was no love out there for him, but he didn't give a damn.

He waited patiently until the bar owned almost kicked everyone out, and the cold December night froze him to the bones. He waited at their appointed place and saw her come out wearing a skirt just as short as her uniform, and a shirt way too much reveling for that time of the year. She grabbed his arm and led him to an apartment two blocks away, no words exchanged. She magically warmed the shabby house and without further distractions led him to a bedroom. Groans, moans, Sirius Black didn't need love as long as he'd have those.

* * *

After doing her more than three times during the night and twice in the morning (darn, that Elizabeth had sure been a tease, and that waitress knew just about everything), he left the apartment without a word. He only knew her name —Sylvia—, and he wasn't even sure it was her real one, not that he cared. He apparated home and was shocked speechless when he saw his friend Remus, intelligent brown eyes and long sandy hair, handsome, sitting on _his_ sofa and drinking _his_ coffee.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he exclaimed, just out of habit. He didn't really mind having Remus Lupin at home, but he did like warnings.

"Sorry" he apologized. "But I need your help, Sirius".

Sirius knew he would do just about anything for Remus, as he would do for James and maybe even Peter (although he didn't like the latter as much as the other two). But Remus hold onto his pride as much as he did himself, so it bugged him. He sat down in front of him and summoned some coffee.

"James did tell me to contact you" he recalled suddenly, and Remus smiled sadly.

Sirius knew that smile. He had met Remus in the dormitory of their room in Hogwards, James had been way too eager to meet and befriend everyone, and that had given good results in the end. Shy but with an insatiable thirst for knowledge, Remus Lupin was probably as pathetic as Peter had been at the beginning. But he had proved to James and Sirius many times that he was able to stand his own ground as he wouldn't agree with everything they said just because _they_ had said it (unlike Peter). He wouldn't directly argue, he seemed to have a phobia against people disliking him, but as he warmed up to the others they found out that mischievous side of him, and was just as funny as he was sweet.

It was during their third year when they found out about his lycanthropy. Since they met, he would often disappear once a month with believable excuses that started to run out. His ill mother, his grandma being alone for a few days, himself being sick, his father arranging special family meetings… It had been Peter's habit of writing everything down in a diary that finally made them realize what exactly was going on.

At first they didn't want to believe it, but they all had seen accidentally in some occasion Remus's scarred back, and as the time went by it made more and more sense. Peter had been unable to talk to Remus properly, and even James and Sirius had been both scared and annoyed. Why hadn't he told them? He was a dark creature, a dangerous one at that! One day Remus confronted them and asked them if they knew. The three of them, cornered, nodded and he sighed and left the room, and didn't come back until next morning. He had been looking pale and tired, and only after he collapsed in Transfiguration did they know he had been crying the whole night. James was always the first to realize these kind of things, and convinced the rest of them to keep the secret and take care of Remus. After all, he has said, how many times had Remus himself help them out?

It had been difficult at the beginning, and it was only later that he knew that Lily had been Remus's support during those awkward weeks. The two of them were good friends and she had found out about his condition earlier than any of them. She had been the one to insult James for being a prick and his heart had been aching for her love, but especially for Remus's friendship. Slowly they began to talk again and within a few months it appeared as if nothing had happened.

"You spaced out" Sirius indeed had, because he almost spilled his coffee. "Sorry"

"No, s'alright. Just tired"

Remus didn't say anything, because he could guess already why his friend was so tired.

"Anyway, what can I help you with, Moony?"

"I didn't have the heart to tell James or Lily" he continued, and Sirius notices Remus's hand had been shaking "I just found out yesterday, but I couldn't reach you. I know we have to tell them, I just wanted to hear your opinion…" seeing Sirius nod, he took a deep breath "Well, Dumbledore knows. He is planning the next move for the Order… We —I was hiding in disguise— heard a woman, she called herself a prophet, and she was just blabbing nonsense. I was about to leave, when she said some kind of weird prophecy about someone being able to kill Voldemort…"

"We gotta tell James!"

"Yes, I know!" Remus sounded exasperated "But there was something… weird about the prophecy. It… it sounded" he sighed "as if it was impossible for us to win against Voldemort right not. It would be the son of someone who had defied him three times, and will be born in July"

"I don't get what that's got to do with..."

"With James and Lily?"

"I don't think James knows himself, because she told me confidentiality. Sirius, Lily's pregnant. And as far as Dumbledore knows, so is Alice Longbottom. And some other people from the Order might be as well. And don't you see?! This will happen in July, and until then so many people might have defied him three, four, five times! We got to find out who it is… and protect them. And we can't tell James…"

"He's got the right to know!"

"He'd worry senselessly. If it _is_ him, there's nothing we can do right now but hope that woman's wrong, the same if it's Frank's Alice. Sirius, I- I think it's up to the two of us to find out more about this, and once we got it we'll have to be able to take measures against it. We have to find out _exactly_ what she meant before endangering them even more"

"Order mission?"

"Not yet, I think Dumbledore's arranging it. For now, think about it as a friend-protects-friend mission."

Sirius put down the coffee. "I'm in"

Remus smiled, but the worry in his eyes betrayed him.

"But how the hell are we going to do that? This isn't as easy as killing Death Eaters"

"No, this requires planning and moving ahead of the enemy. And you're a genius at practically everything, and I'm not dumb myself. I've been researching the whole night on prophecies, and in _one_ sigle book written by Cassandra Trelawney, the great-great-grandmother of the woman who made this last prophecy I'm telling you about, which mentions that _some_ visions might be wrong, and _how_ to find out. Even if it's right, we might be able to change that. That will probably require traveling, though"

"I'll pack right now"

"Alright. I'm expecting Dumbledore to contact us as soon as possible"

"You know James's gonna be pissed at us for not telling him"

"I just want him to be happy…"

* * *

Dumbledore _did_ contact them later that afternoon, but traveling wasn't yet required. For now, their former headmaster told them, it would suffice with them meeting Sybill Trelawney and getting as much information possible out of her. Their meeting would be arranged for them in a few days, and meanwhile they would just have to act normally around their friends. When Sirius insisted on telling them about the danger they were in, Dumbledore had convinced him by asking them if he wanted to worry his friends so much about something that might even be wrong. How was it wrong, asked Remus, and their answer was that they had to find out. Never had they seen their headmaster so worried.

They were silently trying to assimilate all the information, when Peter's owl suddenly entered the house, flying in with a letter addressed to Remus.

Remus paled and Sirius snatched the piece of parchment.

"What's with the people getting pregnant at this time of the year?!" he hollowed.

* * *

**Author's Note:** My first HP fanfiction.

I hope you like it! Don't be confused about Sirius's obviously straight preferences at the beginning. We all know this fic is SLASH, now don't we?

And before you ask, I'm not even sure how this fic is going to end, if it's going to follow the canon or not. I might even make it an AU… who knows? I had fun writing something for what feels like AGES.

I want to apologize to everyone who's reading and found it full of mistakes. It's un-betaed!

Please review!


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